-I miss a number of food stuffs, too much really to list here but peanut butter is top on my list. I can't believe I have gone through three months of my life without peanut butter! Also, cheese. Oh CHEESE! There is no cheddar here and worse, they national cheese seems to be waxy, tasteless swiss cheesy-looking stuff and that's one cheese I never got along with. I also am adjusting to life without tofu and soy milk. Weirdly though, I missed this stuff a lot at first and now I am over it, mostly. I never thought a cheese-less life would be okay, but it is. That does not mean I won't run to Wegman's cheese shop when I get home, because I will.
-My washer and dryer. Well, anyone's really, I'm not so attached to mine. The washing machines here SUCK and people just do not own dryers. Also, there are no laundromats, there are laundry services that will wash and dry your clothes but it is expensive and I don't like strangers touching my dirty clothes. This no dryer thing was acceptable when it was hot and sunny all the time but now the weather is changing and I've been waiting for my jeans to dry for two days. It's a wonder the whole country doesn't smell like wet towel.
-Pandora. It's unavailable in Chile and that is a shame.
-Gas that just comes on. I pay my gas bill and hence, I turn on the stove and there is gas. I want to take a hot shower, and I do. Just like that. Here, people use tanks of gas that need to be lit when cooking and showering. I had an old stove explode in my face in my first, shitty apartment in Allentown so this makes me a little uncomfortable. Plus, you never know when you're about to run out of gas or you worry that you might not have turned it off and the house will have blown up in your absence.
-Being understood. I can express what I need to here but obviously not as well as I can in English. Factor in also that people expect not to understand me because I have gringa written all over me. For example, I got into a colectivo the other day and said "Teatro Mauri." The driver said "Ehhh?" I said "Teatro Mauri." He looked at me like I had two heads and the guy next to me said "Teatro Mauri." "OHHHH, Teatro MAURI! Yapo." I said it right, I know it, I even rolled my tongue, but only once because the single "r" is one glottal flap, just like I learned in phonetics. I wonder if people here think I am stupid or if they know that sometimes I can be funny. Sometimes I think I can't be the REAL me here and other times I think I can only be the real me, because I have nothing to lean on or hide behind; I can't be coy or use humor to deflect like I can in English.
-Paper products, soap and hot water in bathrooms. I am not a huge germaphobe but it's pretty skeevy that most bathrooms are not stocked with these products. And what's the point of washing my hands if there is nothing to dry them on? Actually, I have that beef with a lot of home bathrooms I've visited in the US too. People! Where are your hand towels?
-Dog diarrhea and dog erections. Not a pretty subject, I know. Oh, by the way, that falls under the Things That Drive Me Crazy about Chile category, not Things I Miss. Anyway, there are almost as many mangy mutts here as there are people. I think this illustration, expertly rendered by one of the little boys I live with, gives you a visual of one of the reasons this is so annoying. (Fijate por donde caminas=Watch where you walk.)
There is dog shit EVERYWHERE!!! You have to really pay attention while walking to avoid it. And these Chilean dogs have diarrhea a lot, it must be all the garbage they eat. Also, since these are wild dogs, none of them are fixed and a day does not go by that I don't see at least one in a heightened state of arousal. Gross. I mentioned the dog situation at a party a few weeks ago and related a story about my mother calling Animal Control to pick up the wild dogs outside of the school where she works. They all thought an office called Animal Control was one of the funniest things ever.
-Overemployment and Underpayment. In what I can only assume is a strategy for reducing unemployment, lots of people here have completely unnecessary jobs. I'm sure they aren't making much money but some mindless, senseless job must be created so that the government can say they are reducing the number of people without jobs. I first witnessed this when in Chiloe, buying a towel from a department store. I selected a towel, walked to the cash register and paid. Instead of the young man handing me my towel, he gave me a receipt, indicated that I should follow him across the room, where he handed off my towel to another useless employee and I had to wait in line to exchange this stupid ticket for my towel. Moronic.
-Actually, that last point leads into my next one well. Chileans are obsessed with receipts and tickets. If you buy a bottle of water, they will slowly, painstakingly write you a receipt for 300 pesos or whatever measly amount it is AND if you don't take it, they will chase you down, press it into your hand and tell you to GUARD IT!
-My, my, I am segue-ing nicely here! Chileans also seem to love telling people to watch their things. I think they must have an overinflated sense of danger. I'm sure there is some violent crime here but mostly what seems to go on is petty thievery. They must not know I am from the WEST SIDE, ok? Seriously, I don't walk around with money out or have a big camera, so LET IT REST! Just because I am a a gringa doesn't mean I have no street smarts. Interestingly, there is a sizable network of women from the US-living in Chile bloggers and some of them have touched on this subject. They mentioned that's just how it is in the US, you know, you can leave your laptop on the table in the cafe when you go to the bathroom. Huh? I wouldn't leave my pen on the table if I didn't want it stolen, here or at home.
As soon as I publish this, I will think of another point to make so I may be editing and updating this. And I'm sure my lovely family members who visited may have some things to add to this list so feel free to jump in!
4 comments:
Oh no- blogspot knows you're writing from a Spanish country! Hope I can post a comment w/o screwing up, since I can't read any of the directions!
This post had me cracking up (no surprise there). My thoughts:
-OK, WHY oh WHY did you have to remind me of the dog erections. I remembered the poo (of course), but had managed to put those disgusting erections out of my head. Grossness!
-BREAD. I agree on the lack of pb and cheese, but think bread deserves a place here, esp. since the bread in Chile is so thoroughly awful.
-general convenience. I'm talking about things like easy access to coffee (i.e. Starbucks), roads/sidewalks that are easily navigable, access to any 'product' you might want or need. Get my drift?
-I hear you on being understood. Poor Gordon gets that all the time and he's a NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER for Chrissake!
Looking forward to some comments from your other US visitors.
We were only there a week but we missed WASHCLOTHS! How can one shower properly without some sort of cloth or brush or abrasive material of some sort to really clean oneself?
Also, tried to buy a memory card for my camera and couldn't find one to fit my camera, which I don't think is that obscure.
Greg missed bargaining. Even in the open air markets, the price is the price is the price. Laila informed us that Chileans consider bargaining rude. For Greg it's a form of self-amusement.
su mamma
Ahh, I changed the settings but I thought it would change MY dashboard etc., which it did not. Guess I should change it back.
Sorry to make you relive the dog erections. This is Laila uncensored though, never know what you are going to get here!
I have found much, MUCH better bread. Like with all food in Chile, there is good stuff to be had (generally) it just isn{t part of a larger food cultures, more a smaller, radical subculture who demand better.
Conveniences, well, yes, there is that. I find it bothers me a lot less. I just repeat my mantra "This is freaking Chile" and move on. I realize this would be harder to do if I had a job or children and so on.
Being understood, yes, it can be lonely. Poor Gordon!
ok now this was def the most hilarious thing i have read in several days.. prob since that last blog you wrote about the what you were eating, had eaten, etc. etc. OMG my favorite material? the dog paragraph and the "dont they know im from the west side!!" jajajajajjaajajajajja! and i love your whole family but whats up with nika wanting access to "starbucks?" i wish they'd bomb all the ones in teh US-- ICK!!!!!!
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