Monday, November 3, 2008

Remembering Albert

A dear family friend passed away last week, unexpectedly of a heart attack. Albert P. Saladino was 56 years old. father of three and friend to the masses. His service was yesterday and the line out of the church spanned several hundred feet for the better part of an hour. I have never seen such a turnout nor could there have been any more fitting tribute to Albert. I was so moved by the words that his loved ones expressed that I came home and tried to sum up what everyone had said.


Michael, oldest son:

"WOW!!! That's what my dad would have said right now." He started with that and then went on to say that whenever he had to do some task such as this, his dad was the first person he'd turn to for help and not having that this week brought it home for him. Friends always told him his dad was cool before parents were ever considered cool. He said Albert was always pushing him to be his best and one time when Michael was having a hard time at school, Albert told him he needed to go in and talk to the teacher. Michael said that he didn't want to but Albert said "We're going in there." Albert had a passion for people and he translated that passion into being a father as well. He ended by thanking his dad for helping him to be great and saying he loved him.

Sammy, middle child:

Very different from the more reserved Michael, Sammy sauntered up with his "bodyguard," chewing gum and turning around his cap, a la Albert and with an impressively honed gumba-inflected speech, told some quintessential Al Saladino stories. My favorites included Albert being, at best, assistant coach on Sammy's baseball team but he thought he ran the whole league. Sammy would be on the pitcher's mound and Albert in the dugout, reaming the umpire out for bad calls. Sammy said he couldn't count on two hands the times Albert got kicked out of Shoshone Park. Another time while camping at Alleghany, Albert pulled up to where Sammy and cousin Nicky were standing in a car he probably paid $750 for and said "get in the car." The kids were confused and didn't know why he wanted them to get in the car but he just repeated "GET in the car!" So they got in and Albert pulled a baseball bat out from under the seat and went outside and beat the shit out of a bee's hive on the top of the cabin ("excuse my French," said Sammy). Then he got in the car laughing like a 9 year old or a maniacal hitman. Here are the life lessons taught by Albert to Sammy:

1. Work hard.
2. Always put family first
3. Look everybody in the eye when you talk to them
4. Try to make Sunday dinner with the family
5. And don't ever leave that table hungry!

Finally, Sammy said his dad always told him he was real popular. And then, gesturing at the church overflowing with people, he said "But he should have looked in the mirror, he really should have looked in the mirror on that one. And I got a lot of friends but in the end, he was my best friend."

Thomas Centolella, childhood friend:

Thomas said he met Albert when they were 13, as Albert was wedging himself into the basement window of a church with Tom's cousin Marty Rafaello, trying to sneak into a Friday night dance. They were "inmates" together at the all-boys Notre Dame Catholic Academy in Utica, at that he stopped himself and said "oh, is that sacreligious?" The minister congenially nodded his head and Tom said "whew, I am glad we're in a Universalist church!" He said they were more than friends, they were brothers. He has never laughed so long with anyone else though so much time and triumphs. Getting a letter or postcard from Albert was always an event, you knew he'd be saying something great. He pulled out a postcard from Albert, dating from 1980, when Albert was about 28. I, of course, can't remember the entire postcard but I'll try to sum up what I remember.

"Tomas, Here in the city....something about energy, sparks igniting, illuminating, it's time for a change! When are you coming back East? In Peace and Rhythm.......P.S. I gave a friend your address, I hope it's no trouble! (Hope is such a silly word!) Bye bye! Albert

The front of the postcard had a picture of a craggy cliff and a large rock, there was a man jumping from the cliff to the rock.

Thomas closed by saying that if we could all hope to pack as much life, love, joy and zeal into our lives as Albert, then hope was indeed a silly word.

Carlotta, coworker and bandmate:

Just because you like doing a thing doesn't necessarily make you good at it. I like to sing but I never had the confidence. Albert bugged me about getting in this band, Universal Mind and I said I was too busy working. He said "but this IS work!" I remember being in Albert's basement on Huntington and there was this song I always wanted to sing in church but didn't have the courage. Albert told me to go ahead and when I did he said I really belted that one out. So now I'm going to sing, in church, His Eye is on the Sparrow.


Comments from my mother:
Thanks for recording these thoughts Laila.
What I gleaned from all the speakers was this:
That Albert was a man that lived his life with all cylinders fired up. His element was FIRE; be it the flames of a bonfire, igniting sparks, or the smoke he left in his wake.
I always said that Albert was like a brother to me. Sitting in that church, filled beyond capacity with people that loved Albert, it was clear to see that EVERYONE thought of Albert as their brother. He not only looked you in the eye when you spoke with him,he pierced you, saw your true essence and gave you a loving push to bring that essence out and LIVE IT.






6 comments:

karima said...

Beautiful Laila. Thanks for getting it down so it doesn't fade.

Live.Love.Eat said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. He sounds like a wonderful man who rubbed off on so many people around him.

karima said...

To live.love.eat.
He was.
Thank you.

Unknown said...

Laila,
Thank you so much for capturing something that was ....well so hard to capture...My nephews blew me away... I believe Albert gave them the strength to confidently speak about him. We were so lucky to have him in our family and in our hearts.
Susan (Albert's sister)

Anonymous said...

WOW. This post literally brought a tear to my eye.. esp those last few comments by your mother. What a very special person. And I can only hope that, one day, my son or daughter might remark about me, "...I got a lot of friends but in the end, he was my best friend." What a role model and major contribution to the larger community...

Anonymous said...

awesome blog, do you have twitter or facebook? i will bookmark this page thanks. jasmin holzbauer