Disclaimer: Please forgive me if one of your favorite phrases is on the list, it's just my personal preference.
"Hot mess." Why is it hot? Are messes typically hot, warm or even tepid? This doesn't make any sense to me.
"All sorts of_______." People love to use this phrase with just about anything, "all sorts of crazy, all sorts of wrong." It is not all sorts, it just is. This is a good example of being unnecessarily wordy.
"Ain't that about a bitch?" Umm, I don't know, is it about a bitch or is it just a bitch? Again, overly wordy=making no grammatical sense.
"I just threw up a little in my mouth." It's been a while since I've had the displeasure of said activity, but isn't that where one usually vomits? I understand that people use this phrase to express their revulsion (like hearing about that nasty Austrian guy who kept his daughter locked up in the basement and repeatedly raped her)but a simple "that makes me want to throw up" is perfectly acceptable and accurate to boot. Stating that one just threw up in their mouth is most likely not true and stating the location/origin is just pointing out the obvious.
"You do you and/or I'll do me." What? Is this the post-modern way to say "I will attend to my affairs, please stay out of it and take care of your own and we will both complete these activities independently of one another?" I believe this is a classic case of subject-verb disagreement, or at the very least, a loose interpretation of proper usage. One really doesn't "do" themselves, this is poor grammar indeed or else a gross indecency.
Incidentally, after reading an article written by a friend of mine, and lambasting him for using possessive punctuation when he was actually trying to pluralize, he sent me this link. I am white and I do love grammar, or picking out particulary egregious mistakes on other people's behalf so maybe you'll find this as amusing as I did. Regardless, please add to my list, I'll be sure to think of a million more as the day progresses. Feel free to point out any of my mistakes, just because I pick on others doesn't mean I don't commit my own grammatical sins!
4 comments:
Most of these I've never even HEARD of, let alone heard in common usage. But they are annoying. I like the "stuff white people like" site too. And yeah, I'm guilty of about 99% of them.
So according to the "Stuff White People Like" blog.... I'm white.
Um, I love and use every single last one of those sayings. Your list made me throw up in my mouth a little. Let's hang out.
ummmm.. that was just about the most hilarious thing ive read all day! and perhaps all week! i do have to say im a big fan of "hot mess" though.. and coming from someone w/GI problems and acid reflux.. well, i gotta tell ya sister, i actually DO throw up in my mouf on the regular, damn it!
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