Chicken Wing Scorecard

I had a staff gathering on Friday night at Pearl Street Brewery and it occurred to me, as I lapped up the wing sauce, that I should create categories for scoreworthy components of a delicious chicken wing.

In a previous post, I had mentioned making it my winter's work to scour each and every wing joint in the WNY region. I will probably just limit that to Erie County unless there are some strong contenders in the far-flung Southern Tier. But I cannot just rush into this blindly. I must methodically document and reason, throughly research and create a standardized assessment through which I can objectively choose the superior chicken wing.

Incidentally, I liked the wings at Pearl Street. I thought their pizza and onion rings were pretty weak but the wings were mighty fine. So I will rate the Pearl Street wing by the categories I have devised. If I am missing a category, or you have some input on modifying my already-existing ones, let me know.

1. Size: Some people complain about small wings. I personally find the huge, hulking ones pretty creepy. I feel like they came from some genetically-modified, hormone-high chicken. Plus, I like a high skin-meat ratio. Not enough surface area on those big ones. So these wings were right in the middle, just fine by me.

2. Crisp: Underfry a wing and they are a soggy mess and those nasty veins are much too flaccid. Yuck. Overfry a wing and you have something that resembles a pork rind more than a chicken wing. They must be perfectly fried to avoid either one of those outcomes and be able to soak up the sauce and still retain a bit of that crispy exterior. Pearl Street did this marvellously.

3. Wing Sauce: It has to be Frank's Red Hot and butter, people! Cannot skimp on the butter. And oh my, they did not.

4. Blue Cheese: First of all, does it come with blue cheese? If not, they are not wings! Second, is it laden with blue cheese chunks? Is the mayonnaise base redolent with garlic? This isa downfall of most places, I often have to resort to bringing an emergency container of Marie's Extra-Chunky Blue Cheese. OK, I really get the light, which is pretty good too. Anyway, Pearl Street did not receive high marks in this category. The blue cheese was middle of the road, few chunks and had a sort of nasty, bulk mayonnaise taste.

5. Carrot/Celery: I don't think this category carries as much weight as the others but it's part of the experience. Many wing joints skimp here too, throwing a few anemic-looking celery sticks and dried out carrots on the plate. Kudos to Pearl Street; the vegetables were fresh and ample.

6. Double vs. Single: I don't know how else to describe them. You know, there are the wings with one bone and then the double-jointed guys. I used to favor the drumstick-like wings, now I think I prefer the doubles. I'll eat both but some people are fanatics about only eating one type or another. Cast your vote please.

I just read something about Swannie House wings being the world's greatest. That may be my next stop. If you'd like to join my on my adventures in chicken wing scouting, please let me know. Also, I'd like comments on your personal preferences and secret haunts.