Things That Offend

As a follow-up to yesterday's highly contentious "Things That Get in My Way" post, I thought I would take the time to discuss things that perhaps are culturally acceptable to some and highly offensive to others.

1. My godmother has a woman from Colombia staying with her family for the year. She puts ketchup on her pasta. This highly offended everyone present.

2. When my mother first married my dad, she was sick and he made her some chicken soup. Awww. Anyway, my mother dumped parmesean all over it and my father was not only incredulous, but insulted.

3. In the same vein, most of my family is of the mind that a good steak should not be ruined by unnecessary steak sauce, that it should somehow speak for itself. I love A1. I do, I really love it, on baked potatoes, peas, by the spoonful. The family turns up their nose at this but I guess I get their point.

4. Chicken fingers or wings are often served (anywhere but Buffalo, that is) with ranch dressing or honey mustard. What the hell is that about? They should both be served with a plastic tub of blue cheese, into which one pours the hot sauce, yielding a hot, tangy, heavenly sauce. Honey mustard, bah humbug!

5. Have you ever gone over to a friend's house to eat and they were making meatballs/hamburgers with plain ground beef? That is really gross.

6. My sister is married to a Scottish man and she has a hard time when visiting Scotland because of the food. For example, at a nice restaurant, she will get a lovely salad that is both fresh and beautifully composed. And served with mayonnaise. Ouch. However, I hear they deep-fry Mars Bars over there and I'm all about that.

7. I lived with a Pakistani family in Memphis when my car broke down and I had to work at a jewelry store for a month to make enough money to get it fixed. Long story. I loved the food, spicy rich sauces, simmered meat and fresh, hand-stretched flatbread. With every meal, our "vegetable" was a salad of sliced cucumbers, onions, hot peppers and lemon juice. It was tasty for sure, but I felt low on my stores of folate, potassium and vitamin K so I bought a bag of baby spinach to augment the meal. I highly offended them.

8. I had a friend who loved mayonnaise on toast. Not my thing but not so offensive. What really put me over the edge was that she would eat a whole loaf of bread, slathered with Hellman's. Granted, she was pregnant but I had to leave whenever I saw her hunker down with the mayonnaise jar.

9. "Syrup" that is really maple-flavored corn syrup makes me sad. I think most people don't even know what real maple syrup tastes like

I think I could go on and on forever. I'll certainly have to keep a running list in my head and would love to hear what offends you.